![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
OOM -- The Untrained Dead
Oct. 27th, 2007 07:08 pmMany people have gone through the rigors of training a dog to behave properly. But few people have ever gone through the rigors of training a zombie to behave properly. One can't just walk into a bookstore and ask the clerk, "Do you have any manuals on housebreaking an undead person?" because there aren't any. Well, not yet, anyway.
Several weeks ago, when the military had collected all the zombies that hadn't been slaughtered in the initial clean-up, scientists worked 'round the clock to develop a cocktail of chemicals that successfully sedated the creatures. This concoction is, understandably, top-secret, although the government is in talks with pharmaceutical companies to mass market the drug in case zombies can one day be found useful -- say, as trolley pushers in a grocery car park.
In the meantime, Shaun has to go about training his best friend the old fashioned way. But today, Ed is grumpy and annoyed and therefore a bit bitey, and so he's not making things very easy. It doesn't help that Shaun is purposely keeping a packet of Hog Lumps from him.
HOG LUMPS.
Why are they so familiar? Why does he want them? They aren't raw meat! They're crunchy deep-fried pig skins, and they go best with beer!
...MUST HAVE HOG LUMPS!
Grr, swipe, swipe, grabby hands, grr!
Also, why isn't the TV on?!
"Uhhhhnnnnngggggghhh!" Ed growls, which roughly translates into, "This is fuckin' bollocks, mate! Gimme my fuckin' pigsnacks an' turn on the telly! I'm missing Trisha!"
Several weeks ago, when the military had collected all the zombies that hadn't been slaughtered in the initial clean-up, scientists worked 'round the clock to develop a cocktail of chemicals that successfully sedated the creatures. This concoction is, understandably, top-secret, although the government is in talks with pharmaceutical companies to mass market the drug in case zombies can one day be found useful -- say, as trolley pushers in a grocery car park.
In the meantime, Shaun has to go about training his best friend the old fashioned way. But today, Ed is grumpy and annoyed and therefore a bit bitey, and so he's not making things very easy. It doesn't help that Shaun is purposely keeping a packet of Hog Lumps from him.
HOG LUMPS.
Why are they so familiar? Why does he want them? They aren't raw meat! They're crunchy deep-fried pig skins, and they go best with beer!
...MUST HAVE HOG LUMPS!
Grr, swipe, swipe, grabby hands, grr!
Also, why isn't the TV on?!
"Uhhhhnnnnngggggghhh!" Ed growls, which roughly translates into, "This is fuckin' bollocks, mate! Gimme my fuckin' pigsnacks an' turn on the telly! I'm missing Trisha!"
